Признание ошибок (confession)(Интернет)

One of the biggest obstacles to confession is doing it. It’s tough. It is being able to humble yourself and look clearly (without denial), noticing your selfishness and your self-serving, mean-spirited ways. It’s you being able to see those weaknesses and also recognize how they hurt another. We all need to do it, and when it is done honestly it clears up a lot of jagged pieces in a marriage and family. With the case of affairs, a true confession makes all parties see how dishonest you were with everyone. You loved no one but yourself. No matter what you say, you sold your kids out, your spouse out, and you sold your lover out. You played your game so only you would reign.

If you are considering confession, I suggest you do it early in therapy rather than later. When something needs to be confessed, the longer it isn’t, the more lies are needed to cover it up. The lies are what cause the fracture within the marriage, family, and relationship. Below, I have provided a short guide to helping you get started.

1.Write down what you want to confess.
2.Think about how you are going to tell the person. Finding a private time is best, and having the details clear in your mind is going to help.
3.The person to whom you are confessing is going to have a lot of questions, no matter what it is you are confessing. Make sure you have dates, times, and leave nothing out of your confession (unless they ask you to, due to the pain).
4.Focus on how the person receiving the confession may feel. DO NOT tell them how you feel. They will see it in your eyes. When you confess to someone, you have not been the person they thought you were, or you were making yourself out to be, they will feel shock, regret, anger and sadness.
5.No matter how intense the pain, do not strike back, do not defend yourself and do not run away.

Let your children know you’re human. Admit your mistakes and take the perfection pressure off. Admitting your mistakes clears the channels for real communication and removes barriers that may be in the making. Admitting mistakes promotes sharing and oftentimes creates warmth and understanding.

Admitting failures also curbs unrestrained idealism. What I mean by this is that if your children go too long observing unreal parents who act as if they have no problems or flaws, the eventual shock of watching parents fail can end up being destructive. When you are honest about your imperfections with your children, you open up the way for a more mature type of problem solving. If your kids feel valued enough that you would share a struggle or a hurt, they will most often respond maturely. One caution would be not to get in the habit of dumping all your problems or marriage issues on your children. After all, they are your kids, not your counselors.

Sometimes when reviewing your list of sins, you come to one that you do not want to confess. We always should confess what we can. If there is a reluctance to confess particular sins, you will need to identify them and come back to them. It is much better to confess right away. Be careful not to nurture bitterness by thinking how wrong the other person was, a “he deserved it “ attitude. Focus on your own fault.

We are not just loving our children to get our children to change. We are loving our children because we are reflecting God’s love to them. Love is now going to be a way of life for us. (http://www.foundationsforfreedom.net/Topics/Family/Regaining_Teen/Teen_Solutions3.html)